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Clean English Jokes


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Clean English Jokes!

Teachers often use jokes in the ESL/EFL classroom to teach culture, grammar and vocabulary. Here are some of the jokes you can use to learn or teach English.


These are jokes arranged according to the date of their submission. You can also browse jokes arranged into different categories.


Total Jokes: 506

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Science class

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.

After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, “Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude…?”

After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, “I guess you’d be eating alone.”
Category | school

Why are you late?

Teacher: “Why are you late, Joseph?”
Joseph: “Because of a sign down the road.”
Teacher: “What does a sign have to do with you being late?”
Joseph: “The sign said, ‘School Ahead, Go Slow!'”
Category | school

God is watching

The students were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”
Category | religious

Something that I didn’t do

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.”

The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?”

The little girl replied, “My homework.”
Category | school

How Newton discovered gravity

Physics Teacher: “Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?”

Student: “Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.”
Category | school

Corruption free

Teacher : One day our country will be corruption free. What tense is that??
Student: Future impossible tense...
Category | school

Clean school

Teacher : How can we keep our school clean?
Student: By staying at home...
Category | school

Hated nation

Teacher: Name the nation people hate most
Student: Exami-nation...
Category | school

Mosquitoes

Teacher: What do you call mosquitoes in your language?

Student : We don't call them, they come on their own!

Category | language

Today's topic

Teacher: Our topic for today is Photosynthesis.

Teacher: What is photosynthesis class?

Student: Photosynthesis is our topic today.

Not Easy to be a Teacher!
Category | school

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Jokes arranged into different categories

Have FUN :-)