Clean English Jokes


Jokes for EFL and ESL students

Have fun and learn English.

Clean English Jokes!

Teachers often use jokes in the ESL/EFL classroom to teach culture, grammar and vocabulary. Here are some of the jokes you can use to learn or teach English.


These are jokes arranged according to the date of their submission. You can also browse jokes arranged into different categories.


Total Jokes: 507

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Hearing problem

A man goes to the doctor, concerned about his wife’s hearing. The doctor says, “Stand behind her and say something and tell me how close you are when she hears you.”

The man goes home, sees his wife in the kitchen, cutting carrots on the countertop. About 15 feet away he says, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Nothing. He gets halfway to her and repeats the same question. Nothing. Very concerned, he gets right behind her and asks again “What’s for dinner?”

She turns around and says “For the THIRD time, beef stew!”

Category | doctor

Noisy students

While visiting a country school, the chairman of the Board Of Education became provoked at the noise the unruly students were making in the next room.

Angrily, he opened the door and grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be doing most of the talking. He dragged the boy to the next room and stood him in the corner.

A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room and pleaded, “Please, sir, may we have our teacher back?”
Category | school

Why didn't he get punished?

Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”

Louie: “Because George still had the axe in his hand.”
Category | school

Me!

Teacher: “Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.”
Winnie: “Me.”
Category | school

Without using tables

Teacher: “John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?”
John: “You told me to do it without using tables.”
Category | school

Can you write in the dark?

Sylvia: “Dad, can you write in the dark?”
Dad: “I think so. What do you want me to write?”
Sylvia: “Your name on this report card.”
Category | children

You don’t know your arithmetic

Teacher: “If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?”
Vincent: “One dollar.”
Teacher: “You don’t know your arithmetic.”
Vincent: “You don’t know my father.”
Category | school

The same essay

Teacher: “This essay on your dog is, word for word, the same as your brother’s.”
Student: Yes, sir, it is the same dog.”
Category | school

Math problem

Teacher: “Here is a math problem. If your dad earned $300 dollars a week and he gave your mother half, what should he have?”
Student: “A heart attack.”
Category | school

How can you prove the earth is round?

Teacher asked George: “How can you prove the earth is round?”
George replied: “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.”
Category | school

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Jokes arranged into different categories

Have FUN :-)