Clean English Jokes

Have fun and learn English.
Clean English Jokes!
Teachers often use jokes in the ESL/EFL classroom to teach culture, grammar and vocabulary. Here are some of the jokes you can use to learn or teach English.
These are jokes arranged according to the date of their submission. You can also browse jokes arranged into different categories.
Total Jokes: 507
Hearing problem
The man goes home, sees his wife in the kitchen, cutting carrots on the countertop. About 15 feet away he says, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Nothing. He gets halfway to her and repeats the same question. Nothing. Very concerned, he gets right behind her and asks again “What’s for dinner?”
She turns around and says “For the THIRD time, beef stew!”
Category | doctor
Noisy students
Angrily, he opened the door and grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be doing most of the talking. He dragged the boy to the next room and stood him in the corner.
A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room and pleaded, “Please, sir, may we have our teacher back?”
Category | school
Why didn't he get punished?
Louie: “Because George still had the axe in his hand.”
Category | school
Me!
Winnie: “Me.”
Category | school
Without using tables
John: “You told me to do it without using tables.”
Category | school
Can you write in the dark?
Dad: “I think so. What do you want me to write?”
Sylvia: “Your name on this report card.”
Category | children
You don’t know your arithmetic
Vincent: “One dollar.”
Teacher: “You don’t know your arithmetic.”
Vincent: “You don’t know my father.”
Category | school
The same essay
Student: Yes, sir, it is the same dog.”
Category | school
Math problem
Student: “A heart attack.”
Category | school
How can you prove the earth is round?
George replied: “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.”
Category | school
Jokes arranged into different categories
Have FUN :-)